Edmont Hotel- Night 1

Tonight I checked into the Edmont Hotel after the corniest cab ride I have ever been on in my entire life. Anyways, after getting up to my room I looked out the window and saw a distinguished-looking gentleman putting on women's fine clothing and prancing about in high-heels. And in the room right above them, there was a couple sitting across from each other squirting water out of their mouths at each other. After watching this I decided to call Faith Cavendish to meet up, because after all I am the biggest sex maniac that you will ever meet. She told me she couldn't stop over because she needed to "catch up on her beauty sleep," whatever the hell that's supposed to mean. But now that I think about it, sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it though; the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact. After contemplating my sexual knowledge, I decided that I wanted to call Phoebe. The only problem with that would be waking up my parents. So I moved on to my next mission for this awful night. I went down to the bar and tried to get a drink. All I wanted was one God damn drink but the bartender would only give me a Coke.